What are we Learning from the Sexual Misconduct Epidemic?

Here we go again.  Driving to work this morning I put on the radio and heard about the latest celebrity/politician/person in power to have lost his job due to sexual misconduct.  Perhaps this time it’s the biggest name of all; Matt Lauer.  He has been a part of many American’s morning routine for 20 years. The list of sexual deviants is getting hard to keep track of.  It seems like there’s been someone new every week for a few months now.  Frankly, some are easier to process than others.  Harvey Weinstein was easy.  He was just a name.  Then we all started seeing his face, and he kind of has a dirty old man look about him anyway.  But not Matt Lauer; he represents America as much as baseball and apple pie. 

I suppose if we’ve learned anything it’s that we shouldn’t be surprised by anyone.  But I hope we’ve learned more than just that.  I hope our country has learned some other lessons.  The one I’ve heard most is that we have a new found respect for women in the work place and all areas of life.  I for one, certainly hope that will be the case.  With all these accusations coming out I’d like to think men will think twice about their behaviors, and that’s a good thing.  But in the end I’m afraid that doesn’t address why men behave that way in the first place.  If only there were some teaching somewhere about our sexuality and relationships, and how to honor and respect the opposite sex.  Oh wait.  That’s right.  There is.  It’s called the bible; the very book that many in Hollywood who are so upset about all this sexual misconduct make a mockery of.  Only prudish Christians would follow that book right.  Well I’m sorry but I think it might give us a little better direction than what we are learning from our movies, TV, and music.  Our culture on the whole is a porn addicted, swipe right, hook-up culture, and it is greatly influenced by the entertainment industry.  My only point is if a whole industry does nothing but promote immoral living, than we shouldn’t be all that surprised when we see immoral sexual misconduct surface among those in that industry. 

I get that it’s not just Hollywood and the entertainment industry dealing with all this.  We can point to all types and all persuasions when it comes to this problem.  It’s just that when I look at Hollywood and the entertainment industry in general that old saying “you reap what you sow” comes to mind.  Actually that would be Galatians 6:7 - “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”  

Being respectful of women is a good place to start, but pulling that off is still going to be difficult for many men if they don’t first have a change of heart.  And that change of heart comes from committing your life to the God of the bible.  God has shown us how to honor, respect, and love others through His son Jesus Christ.  God has shown us the proper context for sexual relations within the confines of marriage.  That might sound fuddy-duddy to some, but if we were all following God’s direction in this area there would be no sexual misconduct.  I can’t help but wonder what all those people who were making fun of Mike Pence and his rules for being alone with women think now.  Those rules have helped him honor God, honor his wife, and honor other women.  There’s nothing wrong with that. And as long as he keeps following those rules you will see no sexual misconduct coming from our Vice President.  It’s my sincere hope and prayer that some folks will make the connection from their behavior to a God who loves them and created them and who want’s what’s best for them in their relationships. Then and only then will we start to see true change.      

Boycotting Boycotts

That’s it!  I’m fed up.  I am outraged by all the outrage.  I’m done.  I am boycotting boycotts.  What brought me to this decision you ask?  The other day I was sharing on Facebook my frustration with the quality of Starbucks breakfast sandwiches and after some lighthearted banter one of my friends chimed in with “I don’t go to Starbucks at all because of the C.E.O.’s view on Christians.”  So much for our lighthearted banter.  Don’t get me wrong.  As most reading this know, I am a Christian myself, and I’m sure I wouldn’t be very thrilled about whatever the Starbucks C.E.O. has to say about Christians.  But can I be honest for a moment?  Deep down, I really don’t care what he has to say.  I just want a good cup of coffee and a decent breakfast sandwich (turns out I have to go down the road to Dunkin Donuts to get the latter).  Maybe that makes me shallow.  Maybe that means I don’t care enough.  I don’t know.  But the more I think about it, if I’m going to boycott every company that might go against my Christian faith in some way shape or form, I may not have a lot of options left.  Just for fun I decided to google “Companies Christians should boycott” and I came across an article listing 132 companies to stay away from, and for good measure it gave me 42 celebrities not to support.  Who has the time?!?  And if I’m going to make a list of companies to boycott, Starbucks might fall pretty far down that list.  What about Nike, and all those other companies that have been known for using child labor?  I should probably start there.  From what I hear, shopping for clothes in an ethical manner can become a very difficult task.  So for me to boycott Starbucks and the occasional other company that disagrees with my Christian perspective on the latest social issue just feels a little inconsistent.  I feel like I should either be all in or not bother with boycotting at all.  Since I don’t have the time or energy to be all in, I think for now I will just go with not boycotting at all…… but if it's alright with you I'm still going to frequent my favorite Christian restaurant, Chick-Fil-A.         

Vain Pursuits

I’ve been going through the book of Acts with my congregation lately.  It’s been a lot of fun as we see the many miraculous ways God grew the early church through the apostles.  Of course the apostle who gets the most coverage would be Paul.  This Sunday we are up to chapter 14 where Paul and Barnabas heal a lame man in the city of Lystra and the locals proceed to treat them like gods and they try making sacrifices to them thinking they are Zeus and Hermes.  To their credit Paul and Barnabas would have none of that.  I must admit I might have been tempted to enjoy that adulation for at least a little while if I was in their shoes…….. or sandals.  Paul and Barnabas however exclaim in verse 15 Friends why are you doing this?  We too are only human, like you.  We are bringing you good news, telling you to turn from these vain things to the living God who made the heavens and the earth and the sea and everything in them.  Essentially they were saying “don’t’ worship the created (in this case Paul and Barnabas).  Worship the creator.”  Treating Paul and Barnabas like gods was a vain pursuit.  It was worthless senseless and foolish.  That’s what a vain pursuit is.

We all run the risk of getting too caught up in vain things.  The reason for this is because God created us to be worshippers.  We all worship something or someone whether we realize it or not.  This little story in Acts chapter 14 is a good reminder to keep our worship where it belongs; on God.  So all this got me thinking what are our vain pursuits?  We live in a country with a whole lot of them.  Material possessions and a celebrity culture are everywhere we look.  I also see it in politics where people can get way too caught up in the political process and political figures.  In some cases the political process is one’s religion and certain political figures become their god.  Don’t believe me?  Watch any presidential election night and specifically all those shots of the side whose candidate did not win.  The weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth can be a little over the top.  It is almost like they have placed their salvation in their particular candidate.  I’m not saying we shouldn’t be involved in the political process, I’m just saying it shouldn’t become our religion.  I’m grieves me to say I’ve seen this take place with a number of Christians.  It starts innocently enough with their faith informing their politics but somewhere along the way things get turned upside down and there is little doubt that their politics are now informing their faith.

Another place I see the pursuit and even worship of vain things or people is with our celebrity culture.  This especially seems to be the case with rock stars.  I have only been to one secular concert in my life.  Some friends of mine convinced me to go to an R E M concert with them back in college.  The concert was decent and I had some fun with my friends but there has always been something that bugs me about concerts.  It just seems too much like worship to me.  At least at most Christian concerts the emphasis is on worshipping God and not the people playing on the stage.  So I’ve been just fine with my decision not to attend a secular concert since college.  This is just me, and I’m not saying if you like to go to secular concerts that you are committing idolatry.  And it’s not like it’s even a hard and fast rule for me.  I suppose if someone came up to me and said “Pete I’ve got two tickets to U2 tonight. You want to come?” I would probably accept.  I also hear Bruce Springsteen still puts on one of the best shows in the business.  That sounds like it could be a fun evening.  Still though, I’m sure there are many at such concerts who would be worshipping those singers and bands, and the thought of that still bugs me.  And don’t even get me started on the traveling around phenomenon that goes with such bands as The Grateful Dead and Phish.  So for now I’m glad I have not attended a secular concert in a very long time.  I’m thankful that all of my concert experiences have had a focus on worshipping God.

I share all of this simply as an observer of the human condition and I readily admit there are things I need to watch out for; specifically the Patriots, the Red Sox, and the Celtics.  For now I’d like to think I haven’t put Tom Brady or Mookie Betts or Isaiah Thomas on the same pedestal as the folks from Lystra did with Paul and Barnabas.  But I’ll still take the lesson that compared to worshipping the one true God all of these things are vain pursuits indeed.         

Thoughts on Immigration and Social Media Politics

The other day Ray Schellinger (a missionary and friend of mine) posted the following on facebook.

I am putting together a biblical reflection and I need a little help from my conservative Christian friends. For those who believe we should build a wall, enforce a Muslim ban, or deport a large number of undocumented immigrants, what are the biblical foundations for your positions? And can you tell me how you reconcile those passages with the call to welcome the stranger? What are the other values/tenets that underlie your position? I am asking this in all sincerity and promise that this will not be used to belittle your position, but rather to better understand it. 

So I decided to respond.  Here it is almost verbatim…..

Okay. I'll take a stab. 1. I'm not entirely convinced we need a wall but I'm okay with the philosophy behind a wall which is all about law and order, stopping the flow of illegal immigrants, and the flow of illegal drugs. It would seem to me that liberals and conservatives alike should agree with the philosophy behind the building of a wall. Maybe there just needs to be some walls in certain places and not the entire border. Maybe there are some much better ideas than a wall. What's not helpful is liberals throwing around terms like "racist" and "hateful" because some think a wall will be helpful with these issues of law and order. It's entirely possible to have a wall and still welcome the stranger and care for the least of these. 2. It's a ban on countries that happen to be predominantly Muslim as opposed to a Muslim ban. Calling it a Muslim ban has not been helpful for constructive dialogue. It's a temporary ban. It's not a ban on all countries. Unfortunately we live a world where lots of countries have refugees. As Christians and churches we can still identify those in need from countries that are not banned and welcome them and care for them. What's not helpful is liberals throwing around terms like "racist" and "hateful" because some think there might be value in a temporary ban. It's entirely possible to have a temporary ban on a few countires and still welcome the stranger and care for the least of these. 3. As far as I can tell, the primary effort has been to deport those with criminal backgrounds as has been the case with previous administrations. My impression is the Trump administration has ramped up those efforts and there have certainly been cases where some have been deported that shouldn't have been. But again, we are still talking about illegal immigrants. What's not helpful are liberals throwing around terms like "racist" and "hateful" because some think efforts should be made to deport illegal immigrants with criminal backgrounds. It's entirely possible to deport illegal immigrants and still welcome the stranger (especially the legal ones) and care for the least of these.

Perhaps you might be noticing a theme.  First let me say as I look again at my response I feel bad about using the term liberal.  I’ll be the first to admit that these labels are not helpful.  Not that the term liberal is even bad but it’s just another way to bunch us into broad categories when as people there is so much more to us than just a label.  That being said I stand by my position that I’ve seen a lot of reckless language thrown around lately by those who tend to identify more with a liberal point of view.  I know there are plenty on the right who do the same and I believe they are just as much a part of our political problem.  But I think we can safely say there is something about the Trump presidency that has brought animosity to a whole new level, and that is part of what I was addressing in my response to Ray’s post.  It’s just not helpful.  And I’ll just say it; it’s very unchristian.  By the way I’m saying that about both sides and I am very aware of our president’s role in all of this.  But perhaps all of us could take a page from our former first lady regardless of what politics we most identify with, and whenever someone goes low we can go high.  What if we applied Philippians 4:8 to our political discourse.  “Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”  It sure would make some of our facebook feeds look different.

So what about my response to Ray?  Actually I’d like to elaborate on it just a bit, but I’ll save that for next week’s blog post.  As a preview I’ll just say it will primarily be about how we apply the passages that talk about welcoming the stranger and caring for the least of these and their place in our national policies.  That’s all for now.  In the meantime know that I value and care about everyone reading this regardless of your political opinions.  We are all God’s creation, and He created us all unique and with different gifts, abilities and personalities, which no doubt in some part has led to the political positions we hold now.  And that’s all good.   

Who was Aaron Hernandez?

I’ll say up front that I did not know him personally so I suppose this blog post is pure speculation, but like many other current events I do have some thoughts on the matter based on the evidence he left behind.

Aaron Hernandez was a bad man.  Let’s be real about this.  The guy was serving a life sentence for murder and it’s quite possible if not probable that he killed two others.  Taking another person’s life is messed up.  It’s evil.  There are no two ways about it; it’s wrong.  I realize he had a tough upbringing and I realize that he lost his father at the age of sixteen.  I wouldn’t wish his life circumstances on anyone.  But still our world is loaded with people who have had tough upbringings and they still have managed to overcome them; people who in spite of their circumstances find a way to do the right thing and who live relatively moral upright lives  It seems on many levels Aaron Hernandez consistently did the wrong thing.

Aaron Hernandez was an amazing football player.  Being a football fan and specifically a New England Patriots fan it was downright fun to watch him play.  He could get open at will and his “run after the catch” skills were incredible.  He really did have hall of fame ability.  Around Boston people like to talk about another amazing athlete and what could have been before he died of a drug overdose not long after being drafted by the Celtics in 1986.  His name was Len Bias.  Most people in these parts speak of him in hindsight as the superstar we never got to see.  But really who knows.  There have been plenty of early first round draft picks who turned out to be busts.  Hernandez on the other hand gave us enough evidence playing in the NFL.  I am comfortable with saying he could have been one of the best ever at his position.

Aaron Hernandez was a sinner saved by grace.  I started out by saying Aaron Hernandez was a bad man, but do you know who else is a bad man?  I am.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m thankful to have not gotten involved in all the things he did, and I suppose some people might think of me as a good man, but they would be wrong.  Like everyone else in this world I am a sinner.  There may never be a made for TV movie based on my sinful life but I have fallen short in too many ways to count.  To name a few (without getting into the gory details) I have lied, I’ve been greedy, I’ve been self-centered, I have been lustful, I’ve been envious, I’ve coveted others and their possessions, I’ve done bad things in my anger, I’ve been prideful……….. you get the idea.  I’ve also grown up in a loving Christian home and always had a good caring support system of family and friends.  If I didn’t, who knows what else I would have to add to my list?  I’m just thankful I’ve been saved by a loving God who has shown me His grace through His son Jesus Christ.  And it’s quite possible Aaron Hernandez was saved by God’s grace too. I think he had John 3:16 written on his head and had his bible opened to that passage for a reason.  I think he wanted the world to know that in spite of his sinful life he had gotten right with God at the end and he had accepted God’s love and grace for him through Jesus Christ.  If that is the case, Aaron Hernandez was like a modern day thief on the cross.  If you are familiar with the story you know there was a thief being crucified next to Jesus and he was repentant to Jesus about the sinful life he lived, and Jesus said to him “today you will be with me in paradise.” 

Perhaps Aaron Hernandez is with Jesus in paradise today as well. How does that make you feel when you think about that possibility?  To be honest sometimes my initial reaction is not very sympathetic.  I start thinking about how such a bad man doesn’t deserve to be in heaven.  And then I remember that I don’t deserve to go there either but I still get to because of God’s grace.  The main difference between me and Aaron Hernandez is that I’ve been blessed to be able to live a fulfilling Christian life for many years now.  Comparatively he only got to know what it was like to know Jesus in this life for a very short time.  When I think of it that way it makes me feel bad for him.  I wish he could have known the joy that I have known throughout my life because of my Christian faith.  I suppose if he did we’d still be watching him on the football field today.  But that’s okay.  The time we have on this earth is fleeting for all of us.  Eternity on the other hand is forever.  With that in mind I’m choosing to think of Aaron Hernandez not as a bad man, but as a sinner saved by grace spending eternity with our Lord. I look forward to seeing him when my time is up.  I hope we’ll have footballs.         

Should I Send My Christian Kid to a Christian College?

This is a follow up to last week’s blog post “What Makes a Christian College Christian?”  It’s all well and good to try and define what a Christian college is but I got to wondering whether or not parents would want to send their Christian kids to a Christian college in the first place.  My initial response would be that you should definitely look into it.  That doesn’t mean that a Christian college will be the best choice for your son or daughter, but they won’t know that for sure without looking into one or two.  Here are some good reasons to do so.

1.     An education with a biblical world view – For me this is one of the most important reasons. It seems many secular schools are becoming little more than echo chambers with a narrow and liberal focus.  Unfortunately there is not a whole lot of diversity of thought.  I realize that is a generalization, and one might argue that Christian schools are echo chambers as well.  That might be the case, but if a school is going to have a narrow focus when it comes to its world view, wouldn’t you want that narrow focus to be based in the truths of scripture?

2.     Students can be with likeminded students – It’s nice for kids to be able to share the same faith and values.  That being said, I should note that just because they share the same faith and values that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for plenty of diversity.  Christian kids can be Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, NASCAR fans or ballet fans, into sports or into the theatre, upper income class or lower income class, Baptist or Episcopal, and so on.  In the midst of all those differences it’s nice to share the same faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.   

3.     Lots of opportunities to grow in your Christian faith – Between ministry opportunities, short term mission trips, inner-city service projects, special worship services, chapel, and bible studies, there is no shortage of opportunities for Christian kids to grow in their faith at a Christian school.  I readily admit there are opportunities for kids to grow in their faith at secular schools as well.  Especially if it’s a larger school down south.  Through organizations like Intervarsity and Cru students can easily find a good Christian environment.  At other schools it can be a bit more difficult.  Can a kid grow in their faith at a small New England college with little to no Christian clubs or organizations?  Yes they can, but they would definitely have to make more of an effort.  Ultimately, whether or not a Christian college kid grows in their faith during their four years of college depends on just how much they want to.  If they are at a place where they are not taking their faith very seriously than it probably doesn’t matter much where they go.  I was a youth pastor for 17 years and during that time I saw plenty of kids go off to secular schools and end up thriving in their faith and I saw plenty of kids going to Christian schools and end up struggling in their faith.  But in general the ones who went to Christian schools tended to flourish in their Christian faith more (for numerous reasons).

Some of you as parents at this point might be saying to yourself “I would love for my kid to look into a Christian school but I just don’t think he or she is interested.”  Here is my suggestion for you.  Encourage them to look into a Christian school anyway.  Notice I said encourage and not force.  There’s always that delicate balance between it being your son or daughter’s decision and it being your money.  As parents you have the right to gently nudge them in a direction you think is good for them.  I would simply say up front that part of the process will include looking at and applying to at least two Christian schools.  You are not forcing them to go to any particular school but you are at least exposing them to that option.  And let’s face it; most kids really don’t know what they want when it comes to looking at colleges.  They may not think they want to go to a Christian school but once they visit one they could totally change their mind. 

For me personally, my son is currently in his freshmen year at a Christian school down South.  He applied to two Christian schools and two secular schools.  I’m thankful that he seems to be doing quite well.  My daughter is a junior in high school and we are starting the search process all over again with her.  I don’t know if she will end up at a Christian college or not.  All I know is I will follow my own advice in this blog and pray……… a lot!

What Makes A Christian College Christian?

I was with a group of fellow pastors the other day and we were talking sports. Somehow the conversation turned to Baylor University and their not so positive headlines lately.  This led to a discussion around Baylor being a Christian college.  I wasn’t so sure but I did end up learning about many points of Christian emphasis at Baylor from one of the guys who had close ties to the university.  For that I was thankful.  The whole conversation got me thinking though; what makes a Christian college Christian?  I’ve managed to come up with two requirements.

1.     For a Christian college to be Christian it must advertise as being Christian. – Let’s face it; if a school isn’t even willing to advertise itself as a Christian school than why should the rest of the world consider it so.  Is being a Christian school a point of emphasis on their brochures and website?  Does it have a motto that is distinctly Christian?  I believe there should be something (if not many things) on the homepage of their website that communicates that they are Christian.  It’s all well and good if you can go to a tab and find out about their many student ministries and a thriving religious life, but that’s not the same as distinctly proclaiming itself as a Christian school.

2.     The staff, faculty, and board members need to be Christian. – These are the people who promote the school, run the school, and teach the students.  If they are not Christian than the overall emphasis of the school and education is not going to end up Christian either. 

So that’s it.  Just those two requirements are what are needed in my opinion to be a Christian school.  A couple other issues did come to mind though.

1.     What about requiring chapel?  I think that is more of a philosophical issue.  Personally I think a Christian college should have some sort of chapel requirement.  It doesn’t have to be overly strict, but something that manages to get students together for worship at least once a week.  That being said, there are many in my family who attended North Park University in Chicago (A Christian school by my definition above) and they take pride in knowing that their chapels are not required but many students attend anyway out of their desire to grow in their faith and to encourage the numerous students who are involved in running it.

2.     What about Christian Codes of Conduct? – In other words, what about rules that encourage/force students to follow a particular school’s understanding of what it means to live a Christian life?  When you think about it, all schools have rules.  The Christian ones just tend to be a bit more thorough.  To me that is a good thing.  So many secular schools have gotten carried away with trying to be amoral about how they run their schools that they end up doing things that make little to no sense.  I mean come on; who in their right mind thinks having co-ed bathrooms is a good idea?  Someone was telling me the other day that their kid’s school has a rule that a person of the opposite sex can only stay overnight for up to 3 nights in a row, and then they have to stay in their own room for a night.  Really?!?  How’s the third wheel roommate feeling about that rule?  But back to rules for Christian living in Christian schools.  Of course that’s a good idea, but you need to find what makes the most sense to you.  I personally am not a fan of the overly fundamental Christian schools with strict rules, dress codes, curfews, etc.  The more fundamental they are, the more the student is living in a Christian bubble and not the real world.  That being said, I know many people who have attended Liberty University, and who currently attend there and they have no problem whatsoever with Liberty’s stricter rules and they love the experience they had or are having there.  They knew what they were getting into and that’s how they wanted it.  In summary, any Christian school is going to have a code of conduct with a Christian emphasis.  It’s up to the student (and parents) to decide how comfortable they are with its level of strictness.  Allow me to suggest my alma-matter’s (Gordon College) old motto as what I think is a good guideline to life on a Christian campus.  It was “Freedom within a Framework of Faith.”  I think they followed that pretty well with their conduct codes.  Enough rules to emphasize Christian living, but not so many that it felt like you were not in the real world.

So I have no idea if this was helpful or interesting for anyone reading it.  It was just something I was thinking about.  I almost became a guidance counselor instead of a pastor, so maybe that’s where this blog entry is coming from.  If you’ve managed to stick with me to the end, perhaps you will also enjoy my next entry – "Should I Send My Christian Kid to A Christian School?"  Stay tuned.